The campaign trail

Yes, it's election time at the Sow's Ear. We've hit the campaign trail for the Best Australian Blog 2011 competition.

You'll be pleased to know, I've appointed Make Mine Mid Century as my Campaign Manager. We've already think-tanked the all important campaign theme: Blog do, Brismod do. (Our apologies to Campbell Newman). The mid century version is Blog-go, Brismod-a-go-go.

As well a being a great political strategist, MMMC comes equipped with a selection of cute kids to choose from and I will borrow her baby for the supermarket walk-throughs. Cute babies equals winner.

After thoroughly analysing the Neilsen data, I concluded the Cougar segment of the population is very influential at the polls. As such, If I Can Turn Back Time by Cher was selected as our theme song; shirtless Jason is our mascot. He is having intensive go-go lessons this week-end.

The Cougar strategy is two-pronged - we hope to win the gay vote too. Jason consenting to a chest and back wax impinges on our success.

Mr Rooney, our enigmatic builder, is part of the team. He will lobby the Nuns at Nundah for their support. Unfortunately, Holy Week is their busiest time of year. However, I believe Mr Rooney could distract them momentarily to get their vote, if he wears his short builder's stubbies.

I personally will court the Seniors' vote. The local nursing homes in our area will allow me to conduct internet tutorials for this largely ignored segment. I will help every resident practise internet voting skills on the Best Australian Blog Competition site. Computer literacy is a vital life skill in this day and age.

Working on my policies is the gruelling part. I fully appreciate how our PM Julia Gillard must feel. I need a winning policy platform. What do you think of this one? No Australian child blogger will live in poverty by 2020.

I know it's been done before, but I actually intend to deliver on this promise.

I'll be approaching Kerry from A Tranquil Townhouse to act as my Merchandising Manager. I hope she will rally a Granny Square Army to crochet and knit Brismod-a-go-go leg warmers. We're going for the indie/etsy vote and will be yarn bombing a street corner near you.

Typically, it's all about image when it's election time. I'm thinking of recruiting Faux Fuchsia to be my Stylist and Time Manager. If she can look immaculately groomed immediately after giving birth and still cook for a troop of people, then I need her on my team. Hell, everyone needs her on their team!

At the very least, she could impart some tips about touching up my mani.

As always, the international community has been watching my progress with interest.  My people on the ground in Canada, Germany, France, Ireland and New Zealand are mobilising computers ready for voting as I type. It's truly a global campaign.

And in breaking news, my Facebook friend numbers have jumped to 15. Things are looking up at Team Fun and VJs. It's too early to call the vote just yet, but according to the early indicators, we could very well be a shoo-in...

Now all of you, get a move on because the voting link for the Best Australian Blog 2011 is open. Vote HERE.