Sunday, 3 April 2011

Fun and VJs: The movie

Today I went to Boolarong Press, which is a small publishing house in Brisbane, with a friend who is thinking about self-publishing a book.

It was just a general presentation about what is involved in publishing and how to get your manuscript 'out there'. The talk touched upon book distribution, contracts, the printing process and about epublishing - a very interesting seminar for my friend.

Since I was just an imposter, I had prepared a story if anyone questioned me about my presence at the seminar. Being there for moral support wouldn't be a terribly exciting thing to say.

So, I said I was working on Fun and VJs: The Book. Yeah, I did.

I worked out the storyline - youngish couple renovating an architectural treasure that is the Sow's Ear.  You know... the drama, the conflict, the elation and the heartbreak. Of course, there would have to be an alternating historical flashback story with the original owner Zoila Stables.

The publisher talked about never signing away the movie rights if you had a small run of your work published. Movie rights? That made me think of Fun and VJs: The Movie.

When I came home this afternoon, I told Jason all about it. He's such a wannabe celebrity. As quick as a flash, he said that Jason Statham should play him.

I said, "Who?" And then I googled this mysterious actor.

Jason driving to work in the new car
Quite frankly, the only thing Jason shares with Jason Statham, apart from the first name, is the hair line. And maybe the suit...unless we use the shirtless shot below.

Jason just about to punch a nail in

Jason said that Catherine Zeta-Jones would play me. What the?

A generous cleavage would be the only thing that Catherine and I have in common. Oh and the dark hair. Now I know who Jason thinks about when he is with me...

Mr Rooney

Hugh Laurie was my inspired choice to play Mr Rooney, our favourite builder, but without the facial growth as Mr Rooney is always immaculately clean-shaven. Like Hugh in the image below.

Clean-shaven Mr Rooney
Hugh is tall and lanky like Mr Rooney and has an acerbic wit which is essential for the role.

A young Judi Dench would play our generous patron of mid-century homewares, Jo from Desire to Inspire. Actually the similarities are quite uncanny...and they both have beautiful voices.

Jo wondering if she needs to keep the iittala collection

Katherine, from theoldboathouse, was very hard to cast. I thought Meryl Streep would be the only one to capture the complexities of the woman whom we know as Katherine.

Katherine at an estate sale
And Zoila Stables must be played by Helena Bonham Carter.

What I imagine Zoila would've looked like
Now, my dear readers, since you are the main reason why I am still blogging, you all get a walk-in role! Which actor would play you in my future blockbuster movie?

P.S I have a feeling Fun and VJs will go straight to DVD if it were ever made.


  1. Jason Statham is one mad bastard. I don't think your Jase is like that. Hmmm ... could I have either Ginnefer Goodwin (she's so cute, just dye her hair blonde) or Mena Suvari please? I can't wait to see this movie. Please put forward another blog post for all of our castings.

  2. I am happy having a small walk on non speaking role- perhaps someone delivering an ebayed pot or similar. Legoman says that Rose Byrne would be a good substitute ( with curly hair of course) but suspect he is possibly sucking up. Betsy is happy to provide a substitute house as well, once she is all white of course.

  3. Don't know who I'd be, but Katherine IN A SUIT at an estate sale?? funniest thing ever!!

  4. Ill take any role as long as I can be a part of it lol was a great read.

  5. Meg Ryan, definitely Meg. Oh what fun. I'll start practicing my walk.

    Jennifer xx

  6. This is too funny. I live too far away to be in your DVD. Rats!!!

  7. Could I play the violin at tense moments, such as paint-colour choosing or weighing the merits of a new car or suit purchase?

  8. Oh my, that's freaking hilarious! I love your character and actor choices.
    As to who would play me?....well, I used to work in a shop with mannequins and once I tried on all the wigs. I put on a shorter dark bob with a blunt fringe and I looked like the spitting image of Shannon Doherty (sp?) from 90210. I was so disappointed as I never liked her. I don't think I've ever got over it.
    Hmmm, so I think I'd try to find somone I liked to play me so def count me in for a walk on. One of my lifetime dreams is being an extra in Days of Our Lives. Tragic, I know :)

  9. How funny!! The only person I've ever been compared to is Kate Ritchie, but that's minus the cleavage!
    I'll happily be an extra in a montage, with song of your choice.

  10. Oh how funny! I think Jason Statham is cool in movies and have seen quite a few of them. I love how you have cast everyone, especially Mr Rooney and Zoila! Not sure about Katherine but hey? I don't know who I would be cast as but I can't wait for the next installment... You have started something now! ;-)

  11. Ha! That is so funny. I think you have all the cast pegged (from my limited exposure to you all). Katherine has to have the line, "A dingo stole my German lava vase".

    I'm in awe that Jason could immediately name an actor to play him ... must be something he thinks about a lot.

    I'd be happy to do 'continuity' ... you know, where you keep track of who wears what and where all the Arabia vases and Florence Broadhurst cushions were in the last scene so they're in the same place in the next scene.

  12. Oh brilliant, too brilliant - it's long overdue for Meryl to have a crack again at an Australian accent - I hope Katherine has a very strong Queensland twang that Ms Streep can strangle...

  13. The Mr Rooney casting is inspired!!! Jason has definetly been paid one too many compliments from bloggers who should know better ha. But (am I really typing this??) the similarity is not bad ha. Damn I did it again, what's wrong with me? ha. Kitty and Jenny are you saying I lack Meryl's style and poise..? Note to self, must take off cleaning clothes when ebayers come to collect goods! Oh and a bit of lipstick is known to work wonders I'm told. MMMC I could then follow it with the line "Your talking about my large West German floor vase...not some object!"

  14. Katherine, you are way too kind about Jason. I thought Meryl was a good choice for you...who else could embody those moments, when you're deciding what estate piece to keep or sell, so poignantly?

    I'm loving all the comments and the cast you are all suggesting - gold!

  15. I want a bad 80s version. Think action film part 6 with big bucks no talent stars. Jason will be played by Bruce Willis. You will be played by Demi Moore (you can pole dance around the back deck stumps). Mr Rooney will still be Hugh Laurie a la the Black Adder series. I will be Rosanne Barr ... the resemblance is uncanny pre-cosmetic surgery and we both have loud voices. Katherine is Kathleen Turner a la Romancing the Stone and Zoila is a 21 Jump Street Johnny Depp playing outside his comfort zone and with an early example of extreme eye liner. Think of the franchise opportunities ... Reno Hard, Reno Hard 2: Reno Harder, Reno Hard with a Vengeance and Live Free or Reno Hard/ Reno Hard 4. Perhaps Mr Rooney can be Jeremy Irons.

  16. Oh man. This made laugh. Here I was thinking arthouse, Merchant Ivory...what was I thinking? Reno Hard. Hilarious. x

  17. I am laughing here. All the comments are so funny! Snickering really.


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