Tuesday 16 October 2012

Holy Valance!

It's been crazy scary around here this afternoon. Jason's been working like a man possessed trying to fix up a  little fubar on the newly erected valance he finished on Sunday.  Here's the story...

Jason took the day off to escort Son #3 on his Kindergarten excursion to a farm. After dropping off the two eldest boys at school, we were motoring along to the Kindy, chatting and talking about the old Queenslander houses which dot the route. I'm driving, Jason gazes thoughtfully out of the passenger window while Son # 3 exclaims how he's going to milk a sheep (city boy).

"Look at the valance," said Jason casually, "I don't really like how they've angled it that way. It's not as good as ours."

"I don't mind an angle but, yes dear, your arched valance is a work of art," I replied, noticing Jason's chest expanding with pride.

"And I don't like how they've left a big gap between the weatherboards and the start of the valance," critiqued Jason pointing to an old Queenslander we were driving past.

"You know, they have to do that. It's so the termites can't eat through the main part of the house. It would compromise the ant capping on the house stumps. See how all the houses along here have that gap between the weatherboards and the valance battens," I said. Expertly.

Jason was silent.

"You left a gap on ours, didn't you?" I enquired.

I turned to look at an ashen-faced Jason.

'No I didn't. Of course I didn't leave a bloody gap. I've butted the valance right up against the house. Holy f@%k! That's all I bloody need," he exhaled.

"Oh!"

Which brings us to this afternoon, a crow bar and a sledge hammer were wielded with genuine fury. Some choice words were aired.

Jason showed no mercy. If only he had ripped off his shirt, I would've filmed it for the fans.
New supports which Jason spent this afternoon building. It will allow Jason to put on cross beams on which the timber battens will be nailed. It will also not compromise the ant capping which (you can see the corner of it at the top of the concrete post) prevents termites chomping through our timber house.

Jason's workshop in the fading light. From what I can gather termites will travel along concrete stumps but the ant capping stops them from getting to the timber. The timber valance Jason built previously would have been an access point to the weatherboard house. Best to fix it now before it becomes a problem.

Jason's had to dismantle the whole thing and start building the valance from scratch again. He is so angry at himself for making such a rookie mistake...he also hates the fact that he wasted a lot of precious time.

I said he shouldn't be so hard on himself. Live and learn, I say.

21 comments:

  1. Oh, poor Jason. That would 'annoy' (local dialect can be substituted here) me too.

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  2. If it were me, I'd be in the foetal position sucking my thumb. Thank goodness Jason's is far more practical than me! xx

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  3. How devastating! Some lessons in life are really learned the hard way. Poor Jason...at least he heard it from you first, though of course it's broadcast over the bloggosphere now..hehe!

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  4. Poor Jason! Fortunately it was just one section. Lucky he has you doing quality control! The beauty of having a high-set house is you can still do a visual inspection (ie check for mud tracks/tubes) unlike a slab on ground construction. xx

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  5. Good on him for getting straight back into it though!!

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  6. Can you imagine if it hadn't been realized until after the whole planned lot had been done....?
    x

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  7. Oh Holy Valance! Poor Jason. Urgh!

    But so much better realising it now before all of the valances were done.

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  8. Poor Jason! We've all made mistakes, but that's not much comfort when you're the one outside in the fading light trying to repair the one you made. Someday he'll laugh about this...just not for a while. :)

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  9. Gosh! At least it was all reaslised before the white ants started chomping away! Tell Jason at least the problem will be fixed and everything will be okay. Bigger mistakes have been made. Love your house. Mxx

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  10. At least he had only done one, but yes, what a massive pain in the butt!!

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  11. Thank goodness for expletives, the only thing that could possibly help in this situation.

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  12. Oh no, at least it was only one valance in. BTW, at first I thought this post was going to be about Holly Valance and I thought that seemed a bit weird until I realised it was 'holy' not 'Holly' in the title...

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  13. Oh dear, poor Jason! He won't make that mistake again. As you said you live and you learn. xx

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  14. Oh pooooooor Jason! If that's the first 'big' mistake he's made during all this time working on the SE, he's a better man than most, Gunga Din.

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  15. Poor Jason!,good thing it's only wood and fixable. Mr CH just saw your downstairs build-in, really likes how it looks from the outside. We hope to add valances to the front of our house one day (if we ever finish)

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  16. This cracked me up (at Jason's expense) But likre you said, better than ripping out termite eaten timber down the track! Sent a doodle via Instagram for you.

    Sarah

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  17. Just as well he is a good dad and took the day off to go to the farm. If he hadn't, his house would have rotted around his ears and he would have missed out on milking a sheep!

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  18. Had a little giggle over your expert opinion on the valance situation. Nothing worse than the misses trumping you with diy stuff. Frankly I think it's all that hi vis gear has just addled his brain, he just needs to ditch the shirts and all will be well. mel x

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  19. Poor Jason! I don't have termite problems here so we would have NEVER known either.

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  20. How the heck did you know that?! Very clever. We would have gone years without realizing. If we were clever enough to do our own in the first place that is.

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